This Is My Revival

Hey,

(Oh shit. This just got real...)

Let me try that again.

Hello,

Some of you may know me and some of you were fortunate enough to stumble upon this space by accident. However you found me, I wanted to welcome you to my new project, HazelNutCoffee.

This is isn't exactly new territory for me. I mean, I've never had an official blog. I did the Tumblr thing. Kind of. It was a secret. The only other person that knew about that was an old friend of mine. I would use it as a journal of sorts. It was my outlet to complain about whatever happened earlier that day. It was a bit juvenile, but I was in high school, so sue me.

I stopped writing on that platform many moons ago. (Thank the Lorde) Instead, I dove into other types of writing. For example, I got into Journalism and wrote for a paper and a website. The articles I did there were mostly music related. On the side, I actually wrote some fiction. Only a few friends knew about that, and I'm not quite ready to share those stories with the world yet. Regardless, writing has always been a constant in my life.

So that brings me to HazelNutCoffee. What I'm calling my "Revival." Which is just my pretentious way of saying that I started a new chapter in my life. (I figured it would be cheesy to write that)

For the past few weeks I had been feeling adrift. I wasn't writing, I wasn't talking to anyone. I wasn't happy. I can't say I'm happy now either, but such is life. Long story short, it just wasn't a good time for me.

Fast forward to today, I'm feeling a little better about myself and now I have a blog.

Fuck.

Now, the idea for this blog actually didn't come from me. I was venting about how shitty I felt and how I had no idea what I was doing with my life and then my friend actually suggested it. Well, I wouldn't say suggested. He strongly encouraged me to create this blog. In fact, he told me he wouldn't stop bothering me until I did. ​ So I had to get him off my back. ​ But then I thought that maybe it wasn't a bad idea.

As previously mentioned, I had a child version of a blog in the past and I used to write music reviews and other feature articles. So I figured, why not continue that, but for myself. I would be able to produce it in the way that I want and post it as frequently as I feel like.

Content-wise, I would write whatever comes to mind. Since I'm so used to doing album reviews and concert pieces, a huge element of this site will be a music blog. I will have a "Playlist of the Week" featuring songs that I feel need more attention, songs that I think flow really well together, and sometimes I'll have a theme.

This week is the start of my blog so I titled this week's playlist "Introducing Me." This playlist will give you a bit of insight on what goes on in my head. In a way it tells a story. Some of the songs made me cry. Some of them made me laugh. Some make me dance. Some bring back the best memories. And some saved my life. I hope that it connects with a lot of you. I hope that all of the playlists I make can connect with you, but one thing at a time.

Now, looking at "Introducing Me," it may seem intimidating. There are a fuck ton of songs on there and to be honest, I had way more before that. It was very challenging to get it down to this number. Future playlists will be way shorter. I promise. Typically, I put together 20-30 songs so as this progresses, you can look forward to that.

As for what else I will write, well, it'll happen when it happens. I'd like to say I've moved past the Tumblr rant posts but if something pisses me off, I might let you all know. Hell, I could even make a "Burn Book" section. Maybe write down names of people I don't like in my Death Note column.

All jokes aside, I do want this to be a space where I can express myself. I want it to be a space where we can talk about real shit, because that is really important right now with how fucked up our world is. I'm a mixed race gay boy in his twenties. I have a lot to say.

Going further, safety is important. I want this to be a safe space for everyone. This will be a safe space for people of any race. This is a safe space for any member of the LGBTQIAP and our allies.

Beware, this could get very real.

And I hope it does.

If I'm being honest, I don't know what could be posted on here in the coming weeks. There are so many things I want to do. Maybe I'll travel in the future? Maybe I'll review other things. I like movies. I like books. Who knows?

For those of you thinking that the blog title has anything to do with the content, I have some bad news for you. Sadly, HazelNutCoffee is not about coffee. I don't like coffee.

Sorry not sorry.

Hopefully, I haven't scared you away. Truthfully, this is extremely scary for me too. I am basically baring myself to the world. I'm putting everything out there. It would be so much easier to turn back, but it's kind of exciting. I'm intrigued to see how people will react. I'm interested in learning that I helped people figure themselves out. There are endless outcomes to this blog.

And one more thing...

This is me. Actually me. Unedited, unfiltered. Confused look on the face at all times. I just wanted to share this so that you know I mean it when I say that I want to be as real and authentic as possible. That's the last picture of me you will see for a while, I pinky promise.

It would mean a lot if I had other passengers along for this ride. If not, I get it. Go read your Buzzfeed articles about what ice cream flavor your dog's personality is. I won't be mad.

But I feel as though I've unloaded enough on you today. I look forward to seeing you all again soon.

So begins HazelNutCoffee.

Until next time,

R